I Saved My Mom's Life

Some many days ago, I saved my mom's life. OK, the story reely starts a longer time ago, even before the last snow time. Mom likes to "teach me tricks." She doesn't understand that I already know how to do everything, even type on this typey thing, but it makes her happy to think she can teach me, so I pretend. Besides, I get treats when I play along.

So she teached me to bring her that thing she holds up to her face and talks with. She calls it the fone. I don't like the box thing it sits on because it makes horrible noises, so I won't get the fone when the noises happen. But when the bigger thing is quiet, I don't mind. First Mom teached me to set my front paws on the wood box that the fone box sits on [Mom note: it's the stereo cabinet]. Like I don't know how to put my front paws on thing! I am laffing on inside. Has Mom not see me stand up with my front paws on the fence top in my yard? She think I'm stupid? I think I get lots of yummy little chewy treats when I "learn" to put my front paws on wood thing! Then she put fone in my mouth and says, "Good Kimi!" and then takes it out and gives me more treats. I let her do this a bunch of times, so I get a bunch of treats, then I do it myself, and Mom is SO happy. I am laffing again! Then she backed away and says "Kimi, bring Mama the fone." I look at her. She says again, "Bring Mama the fone! Good Kimi!" So I do, and I get lots of pets and cuddles. We do this for many days. Lots of treats for me! then she put some boxes and things in front of wood thing, so I can't do fone trick anymore for a while.

But then some days ago she got up from our couch, and walked a few steps, and fell down. This scared me because Mom doesn't fall down. I licked her face and she opened her eyes. She looked confused, and that scared me too. (How do I get treats when she's confused? No, really, I love Mom more than anybody!) I lick her again. She try to move, and it looked like she hurt. She said, "Kimi, good girl, bring Mama the fone!" So I do. I drop it in her hand. She talk into it. Then she said, "Kimi, help Mama to the couch!" So I bent down a little bit so she could put her arm over me, and I helped her to the couch. She was not standing on her feet, though. She had one arm on me and one front paw on the floor, and her knees on the floor. Kimiko worries. After some time Mom talk on the fone again, then soon Aunt Shari comes. She doesn't knock so I don't have to bark for her; that's good because I don't think Mom wanted barks. Aunt Shari gived me a peanut treat (and thank you to readers who told Mom to buy them! they my FAVORITE treat!) and took Mom away. After a long, long LONG time she brought Mom home. Mom smelled really funny; it was a strong smell that made my nose hurt. Mom says it is antisectic, I think [Mom note: antiseptic. Probably from all the alcohol prep wipes for drawing blood, running an IV, and putting sticky things on me to do an EKG].

Aunt Shari put me out and when I came in there was food and water in my bowls and Mom was in bed. Aunt Shari said I was a good girl and maybe saved Mom's life. Mom told me I was the best dog in the world -- then I rooed because she said it wrong -- so she said I was the best AKITA in the world, because I know all Akitas are better than other dogs [Mom note: OK, so she's breedist -- she can't help it...]. I'm happy because Mom is home now, although she had to go away one afternoon after that and came back smelling funny again. [Mom note: IV iron; she could probably scent the additional iron in my blood, although I couldn't]

So I saved my Mom's life. Every big dog should learn to bring fone to their moms. Even some little dogs can probably do it. If I'd known she was going to fall, I would have stood in front of her so she could fall on me and not get all funny colored like her side is now. But she said she wasn't really going to die, it's just ameemeea? [Mom note: anemia... sigh... she can type but she's not the world's best speller. but then, she is an Akita.] But I still think that if I had not brought her the fone, she would have died right then. I was asleep when she falled, but it woke me right up so I could save her.

I've been getting more treats since then, and when she walks in the house I make sure I'm right beside her in case she decides to fall again. I don't want her to be hurt. She's the bestest Mom EVER, especially since she bought more peanut treats.

Bye for now!

Napping and Not Playing

Napping is good. I am lucky that Mom naps so much and doesn't expect me to entertain her all the time. I am Akita; we do not fetch. After as long as we've been together [note from Mom: almost 6 years] you would think Mom would get that. But no. She still throws things. I tell her, get it yourself, YOU threw it. But she won't. So it sits wherever it lands. Silly human.

Much as I love naps, there is one thing I do not like. That is when Mom takes a picture of me when I nap. Is NOTHING sacred? My nap time is ALL mine. And no, I do not chase "bunnies" in my sleep. What? Am I a Retriever? NO. I am an Akita. I chase Sunbears in my sleep. And that's hard work. So don't bother me with that camera thing!

Another thing. Apparently no one who reads this told Mom to buy me peanut treats. I have been raising my paw over and over -- which everyone knows, or should know, means I WANT A PEANUT -- but no. I get biscuits. Or those nasty things she calls "cookies." I spit them out. SHE eats cookies, but they taste nothing like what she gives me. (How do I know? I took one, of course. I am, after all, dog.) So please, please humans who read -- tell Mom to BRING ME PEANUTS. They are my favoritests. Although those bacony things are pretty good too. But if I eat more than one, bad things may happen.

When Mom picked me up from camp (I don't know where she was, but she smelled kind of like a child, kind of like another dog, and a lot like Aunt Shari...) she took me home, and I was my very cutestest, so she gave me three of the bacony chewy things [note from Mom: Beggin' Strips, but I don't make her beg. She is, after all, a dignified Akita, mostly...]. They tasted really really good. Then she took me to the groomer. Oh, what a horrible place! They put me in water! I thought I would melt! Then the lady -- who is really really nice, except for putting me in water -- put me on the table and started brushing my beautiful coat. Then my tummy started making noises. Then something very bad happened. I [Note from MOM: I am censoring the rest of this paragraph. You don't need, or want, to know. Let me just say that both Kimiko and I were mortified.]

When I came home I took some of the toys I like -- the kind I chew on, and Mom doesn't throw -- and hid them so that Mom would never, ever find them. I don't play with them. I just chew them. I hope Mom had as much fun wherever she was as I did at camp, playing with the big dogs. Ooh, and the howly things happened outside again some days ago and Mom came under the table with me again [note: civil defense warning for tornado that fell apart before it reached us. Plenty of rain and some small hail, though, and 70 mph winds.] I let her stay because she was scared. Silly Mom. Nothing happened.

I really hid my chew things well. I'm not even quite sure where they are. I'm sure I'll find them though. WOOF for now!
Kimiko the Akita